Michelle’s Update on Life in Portugal

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Hey. Michelle here. Just wanted to come and chat about life lately in Portugal. And I've been wanting to record this for a while, but I think I'm just gonna break it down to an experience I had yesterday that kinda sums up one of the things I love about living here.

Yesterday, we went to a really nice mall that has a of an amazing, like, LEGOLAND type of play area that I wanted to take the kids to for a while. So yesterday, I was like, let's just go to that LEGO place. The kids will love it. Let's give them a great outing. And every day we take them on an outing because there's always something to do and there are playgrounds everywhere. But my kids, especially the oldest one, really love LEGOs. So we went out there, and we had to sign them in. And as it turns out… well, my first thought was that we were going to stay there and watch the kids while they played.

But it turned out that the parents don't necessarily have to do that. In fact, If you were to stay and watch your kids, you'd be standing kind of on the outside. You wouldn't be in the play area with them. What they do is they have a team of people who watch your kids for you and separate the kids into different areas. So, like, the big kids go over here. The little kids go over there. Whenever I would go to, like, indoor playground things or even any playground, that would be one of the reasons I have to keep an eye on them is different kids of different ages, playing together, which is great, but if your kid's really small and he's in the middle of all these kids that are really big, it can it can of be kind of precarious because there's just different levels of - what's the word? Your kid could get hurt if he's playing with the big kids.

You have to keep an extra eye on them, and Noah likes to do that. Noah likes to go play with kids that are twice his size. But as it turns out, they had a team of people who would watch kids and separate them into different age groups, and so that already was amazing. So I was off to the side watching my younger one while my husband was signing them in. And so I was like, okay, I guess we’re gonna drop them off here. And then when he came out, I asked him, “so how much did it cost?” And he said it was free. And I was like, “what? Is it, like, free for the 1st time? Is it free for newcomers?” He's like, “No, it's just free.”

So not only is this place a really nice like, this is this is like whenever I go to. Playgrounds or play areas here, whether they're indoor or outdoor, I'm always blown away by how high quality, and just next level the play areas typically are. And so not only was this place really nice, and not only were other people going to watch our kids for us - people who were professionally trained - and I could tell they were really giving all these kids close attention and really engaging with them. Not only that, it was completely free, and it was literally a service where parents go to the mall, drop their kids off to go play in this wonderful place, don't have to pay anything, know that their kids are taken care of, leave for 2 hours, then come back and pick them up. And I know that part of why this is sustainable for them is because it allows parents to go shopping in the mall and probably spend more money, which is fine because no one is forcing anyone to spend more or less. But I know that it's conducive to people being able to take their time and go shopping. So I'm sure that the mall compensates of this play area organization service.

So I can see how it's financially sustainable for them. But even so, I was thinking, if this was in America, they would be charging for this. And definitely the parents would still have to watch the kids. In America, you would be paying for your kid to go in, and you would have to of watch your kid like a hawk the whole time because I've been to playgrounds, play areas in America that were indoor and like that. You would have to pay, and then you would have to be the one to watch your kid. And I know there are places like that here too that we've been to, but because it's in a mall and because it has this component of being able to be a part of a bigger picture with how it can be financially sustainable, it was free for us, for anyone dropping their kids there. And I was just thinking, wow.

To be able to look at your service and decide that you could make it free and not charge people… Because I'm sure they could have said that even though this could be free, we're still gonna charge people to make that extra money. But they didn't. They decided to just keep it free. I keep having these experiences here in Portugal where I'm like, that is the first time I have ever seen that. And even experiences where I'm like, that is the first time I've ever felt that. So leaving my kids there and walking away, I just felt this feeling of, “Wow, I have never felt this feeling before.” This feeling of being supported in a society. This feeling of - and I know that it's partly because it helps mothers go out and spend more money shopping around, but still - it's this feeling of I'm being supported as a mother whether or not I decide to spend more money because I don't have my kids on me. And I went and had a lovely 2 hour sit down in a lovely little cafe in the mall by myself.

My husband actually had to go back home to get his computer and come back to the mall because he didn't have any idea that he would be able to take some time for himself. We had no idea that we would just be able to drop our kids off and go do our own thing for 2 hours. And I think about these differences a lot because it does feel very different here. Parents and children feel regarded differently here in Portugal compared to America. Just little things like going into a public bathroom and seeing that there are miniature toilets and miniature sinks for children, specifically designed for little people, or the bathrooms always having a really nice area for changing your kid's diaper. Well, it's not always. If you're in a really old restaurant, there's not a lot of space because the building's, like, a couple 100 years old. There's just not enough space to add in a big changing area.

But in newer places like malls and stuff like that, there are really nice dedicated spaces full of all of the materials needed for a mother to change their kid's diaper ever versus just getting this corner little area that is grungy and dirty, and you have to, you know, just get in and out as fast as you can. Even taking my kid to the bathroom at the mall later, there was a whole room that was just so nice and had all this equipment and special trash cans specifically for changing your kid's diaper in the most comfortable way possible. And I just always notice these big and little things that are specifically for making the lives of parents and children easier, and, just realizing it's the first at time I've seen things like that. It's the 1st time I felt certain feelings, feelings of being supported, feelings of being honored, feelings of being at seen - like standing in line. If I have my kid with me, even if even if it's not visible on a sign saying that mothers get priority or pregnant people get priority or older people get priority, even if there's no sign like that stating who gets to move forward in the line… people just generally, If I have my kids with me, let me go first.

What are some other things I've noticed? When we moved here, it has always been amazing to witness how people treat my kids. It is like they have of hundreds of aunts and uncles that just came out of nowhere. Anytime we go anywhere, People are so friendly, and if my kid is crying or upset, there's always someone who appears out of nowhere comforting them and talking to them and trying to get them to laugh or it's just always somebody looking really closely, not looking really closely, but someone who sees my kid and wants to interact with them. Not seeing in terms of just looking and noticing them, but seeing is in terms of interacting with them as person to person - not, “oh, you're a kid and I'm an adult and we have 2 different different worlds.” It's always people who want to be a part of their world.

We live in an apartment with a doorman, and there's 4 different doorman who switch out, and we walk past their office every time we go to the door of the apartment complex to leave and go somewhere else. And every time we walk past the doorman, my kids go up and give them a high five, and they talk back and forth and get hugs from them. They have gotten so much love from these doorman than they've gotten from of any any other person that I've ever seen them interact with, that wasn't a close friend or family. It's amazing the level of genuine, of pretty much love that they get from just people - I don't wanna even say random people - just people who live here and we see whether it's every day or once and then never see again.

They just get so much attention from people, genuine attention. It's not like, “oh, let me give a polite, consideration to your child.” It's like genuine attention and fun. They have fun with my kids, and they want to have fun. They want to play with them. To go to a park and other grown people, other parents wanting to play with your kid… it's like, who does that? Who genuinely wants to have fun with your kid and they don't know you? And I know if you're from America, alarm bells might be going off. Like, “oh my gosh. Your kid might get get kidnapped. It might just all be an act. It might be, you know, a dangerous person.”

But when you let go of how we've been raised in a country where that is a real fear and a real concern, and then you go to other places where that's just not the norm. People have a regard for children and mothers and parents that is just of real and authentic. You can tell that the vibe of someone who has that type of energy is real. It's not an act. And that's part of what surprises me. It's like, wow, they really like my kids.

And it's amazing to think about how this is impacting my kids as well to be surrounded by people who are really interacting with them, really wanting to talk with them, giving them hugs, giving them kisses on the head, patting them on the head. We would walk down the street, and at least 1 person would pat my child on the head in just this loving way as they're walking by. And I know you might think, “oh my gosh. Don't touch my kid. I would never do that.” But because the vibe and the energy that I know is coming from the person is so just loving, it's not a problem. And I'm sure it is only healthy for my kids to be able to just feel that love from more people than just mom and dad. So I just wanted to come on and share that little update about Portugal.

We're loving it here. It's a beautiful, beautiful place. Love everything that we've experienced so far and of love that we get to raise our kids here. Thanks for listening. Hope you enjoyed this episode.